Just before 5:50 p.m. on July 15th, 1994, our twin sons were born 9 weeks early. Asa (Healer) Robert (Bright In Counsel) was born weighing 2 pounds and 7 ounces and his length was 14 inches - long and skinny! About eight minutes later, his brother, Ezra (Seeker of Truth) Thomas (Twin or Double Blessing) was born weighing 3 pounds and 10 ounces and was 17 inches long.

I followed Ezra up to join his brother in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit where our neonatal specialist assured me they were both doing well…so I announced this news to the small entourage of friends and family who had gathered in the waiting room to pray for Melinda and the boys during the birth. I thanked them and sent them on their way since Melinda was not able to have visitors and that the boys could not have visitors since they were in the NICU.

After a few hours, Melinda did not seem to be herself. I knew something wasn’t right when a nurse asked Melinda if she wanted to see the babies and she said, “No. I don’t feel well. I just need to rest.” This was the opposite reaction I had expected and I expressed that concern to the doctor and, after a brief examination of Melinda’s abdomen, she, too, became concerned and ordered an ultrasound. After a second ultrasound, the doctor concluded that Melinda’s liver had begun to hemorrhage.

I asked the doctor about surgery to stop the internal bleeding. She spoke very matter-of-factly to Melinda and me that surgery would not be an option. She then said, “If you are praying people, I suggest you pray. Your wife will probably not live through the night. I would encourage you to call her parents and get them here ASAP if they want to say goodbye.”

At those words, she instructed the attending nurses to swaddle Melinda’s swollen body as tightly as possible to try and minimize the internal bleed and then she turned and walked out of the room.

I simply sat there in the darkened room and cried. I had been all ‘prayed out’ over the babies and now this! It was like seeing my wife headed for a water fall and there was nothing I could do about it!

As I sobbed, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “It will be alright, son. I save your tears when you cry.” I felt so weak at those words. I considered myself a warrior for God’s kingdom and all I could do was cry…and the Lord would save my tears? “I thought to myself ‘what good will that do?’ This only made me cry more. After a few minutes of sobbing, Melinda asked me to leave the room to cry!

During my absence, Melinda told the Lord she was ready to be in His presence. But you know what He said to her? “No, Melinda. I will come and be in your presence.” This statement was to carry her through her whole ordeal. She told me afterwards that she could actually smell the presence of the Lord in the room with her. The most beautiful fragrance she had ever smelled. Melinda truly knows the cost of laying down one’s life to give life to another…and then some!

So, I went to the nurse’s station and called her Mom and told her of the situation as two liver specialists right next to the phone pored over medical manuals in a frantic search for a way to stop the bleeding. After this conversation with Melinda’s mom, a nurse pulled me aside and told me she had been called in to work that evening and told me when she gets called in for extra shifts, she knows the Lord has something special for her to do. Upon seeing me, she now knew why she had been called in. She was there to minister to Melinda and me and that she had a word from the Lord for us!

At first I was a bit leery, but as she shared the word, my broken heart began to settle down. She assured me others were praying and that others were taking up the fight in my weakness...and then she shared that she had a specific word for me that only I would understand. She said, “This may not make much sense to you right now, but God wants you to know that He saves every tear when you cry and that He heard them as the prayer of your heart!” I was in shock that she used the exact wording I had heard the Holy Spirit speak to me only a few minutes earlier. “I save your tears when you cry.” That simple testament to God’s presence and love gave me grace to get through the rest of that night.

By the following morning, Melinda had lost so much blood internally that they had to give her two units of blood! Melinda said she could feel the life flowing back into her body as the new blood was put into her veins. Our doctor’s hope (and that of the specialists called in on our case) was that the blood that she had lost would put enough pressure on her liver to stop the bleeding. With the additional blood and the pressure put on her liver, the bleeding stopped. I believe the doctors were simply agents of the wisdom of Almighty God and I am so grateful for all they did to bring healing to my wife…but the way God showed up and spoke through the Holy Spirit to Melinda and me…and that nurse who just ‘happened' to be called in that night still takes my breath away.

A week later, on July 22, 1994, while reflecting on the helplessness I felt when Melinda had been near death…and how the Lord used my tears as a prayer language even when I didn’t have a clue…and that the reality of Him saving our tears when we cry is found in Psalm 56, the song, You Save Every Tear When I Cry, was born.

Psalm 56:8-11 NASB

8 You have taken account of my miseries;

Put my tears in Your bottle.

[Are they] not in Your book?

9 Then my enemies will turn back on the day when I call;

This I know, that God is for me.

10 In God, [whose] word I praise,

In the LORD, [whose] word I praise,

11 In God I have put my trust,

I shall not be afraid.

What can mankind do to me?

What I discovered as I began to think on Psalm 56 was that even when we run out of words and have only tears left to cry, He will use those tears as weapons of spiritual warfare and turn back the enemy who assails us. If you ever have moments in your life when tears seem the only thing you can produce when trying to pray, remember to allow Father God to save those tears and use them against the lies of the enemy. He wastes nothing. Not even our tears.

Dennis Jernigan

To hear The Dennis Jernigan Podcast version of this teaching and to hear the song, You Save Every Tear When I Cry, go to https://www.patreon.com/posts/you-save-evry-i-92811322

Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/06/18/19/45/man-1465525_1280.jpg