I don't get much sleep these days thanks to Parkinson's, but I am learning to see those sleepless moments as opportunities to hear from God. This morning, August 16, 2023, I woke from a restless sleep around 4 AM and chose to not take any sleep medication because they tend to make me feel groggy the rest of the day. I decided I would just lie there in bed and see if the Lord had anything for me. Before I knew it, the following lyrics had been written into my notes on my iPhone!
Parkinson's often leaves me feeling very isolated and alone, but that is not truth nor is it reality. I am constantly surrounded with family and have several friends who keep in touch with me. The problem comes when I allow pride to keep me from interacting with others. As an example, I have a very pronounced tremor going almost constantly in my right hand and arm. If I think people are noticing me while in public, I will stick my hand in my pocket and try to hide the tremor. The more self-conscious I feel when I suspect people are noticing the tremor, the more anxious I become. The more anxious I become, the more the tremor intensifies. It becomes a no-win situation that I often allow to keep me from interacting with others. In a way, I go into hiding…which is the opposite thing I should do. Life is found in relationship regardless of whether I have Parkinson's or not. Those who love me don’t care if I have a tremor or not. They just love me. The following lyrics, I hope, will convey to you some of what I am dealing with personally and how I am choosing to deal with it.
Be Blessed and Choose Joy,
Dennis Jernigan
I’m Still Here
Words & Music: Dennis Jernigan
August 16, 2023
Verse
Sometimes I get so overwhelmed
By the simple things of life
Sometimes people avoid me
I can see it in their eyes
Sometimes my heart’s so shaken
As I watch the world go by
Like I have already died
Sometimes I get discouraged
By the storm surrounding me
Sometimes I shut out loved ones
‘Cause I don’t want them to see
Sometimes I lose sight of who I am and used to be
But deep inside I’m still just me
Chorus
I’m still here
Caught between the joy and pain
I’m still here
Between the desert and the rain
I’m still here
Just out of reach, yet feel love’s flame
I’m still here
Explainable yet unexplained
Just be near
Bringing joy to comfort pain
Just be near
Cool the desert with Your rain
Just be near
Come consume me in love’s flame
Just be near
When my life goes unexplained
Just be near
Just be near
Verse
Sometimes I get so caught up
In the me, myself, and I
I become a desert island
Left there wondering why
I can choose the darkness
Or can choose to walk in Light
I choose joy and I choose life
Chorus
I’m still here
Caught between the joy and pain
I’m still here
Between the desert and the rain
I’m still here
Just out of reach, yet feel love’s flame
I’m still here
Explainable yet unexplained
Just be near
Bringing joy to comfort pain
Just be near
Cool the desert with Your rain
Just be near
Come consume me in love’s flame
Just be near
When my life goes unexplained
Just be near
Just be near
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2019/04/21/12/51/man-4144066_1280.jpg