I love to share the stories behind the songs I write because they help me stay transparent and dependent upon the lord. I especially love the song I am going to be talking about today because I love the family this song was written for very much.
Let me tell you about that song that came to me in the middle of a trial experienced by a friend and his family. This song is called Time Will Tell and it came to me on May 20-23, 1998. The events I am sharing with you took place over 20 years ago now, but the message is…timeless. Here’s what I wrote about the song at that time:
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every matter under heaven…
...He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, without [the possibility that] mankind will find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11 NASB
Watching my friend Paul deal with his dad's illness was a lot like watching one of my own children suffer through a life lesson, knowing there is nothing I can do to stop the pain. What made Paul's situation so difficult was knowing that he had never lost a loved one to death. Having to face the loss of his father, Paul began a spiritual journey that I have watched from a distance; a journey that has taken him from times of anger and action to denial and depression; from deep moments of nostalgia and peace to times of loneliness and fear; and then back again.
Paul's journey with his dad had been one of God’s grace. As a boy, he witnessed God's grace as the Lord faithfully healed the marriage of his parents. As a young man, he was privileged to have been mentored by his father in the family business he would one day inherit. Paul had been a firsthand recipient of God's grace and power because Father God restored his own marriage. When he and his wife spent many years desiring children and having no success, they learned to rely upon God's grace again. Then, God gave them five children in a few short years. All these events prepared Paul for the day he would need grace to see his dad through the process of death. It is one thing to receive God’s grace through the normal trials of life’s circumstances; it's quite another to receive enough Grace to grieve the loss of a loved one such as the loss of one's father.
As I watched Paul, I noticed that he had a deep desire to bless his father during his illness. He also had a need to create memories that would not only ease the pain of the coming loss, but memories that would also sustain his mother and his own children when they did finally come to the time of parting.
I gazed with joy at the photographs of Paul and his children vacationing on the beach in Florida with his mom and dad. I could see a sparkle in his eye and hear an excitement in his voice that communicated pure joy. It was bittersweet, perhaps, but joy nonetheless. When faced with the loss of a parent, we can't help but be drawn into times of reflection and nostalgia.
I relived many of Paul's childhood memories with him by asking questions about his relationship with his dad while he was growing up. Many times he and his father ran away to Colorado for extended father/son ski trips. He told me of several times they got to the end of the trip and decided to extend it another week…and then another! During that same time, Paul and I took a short ski trip one weekend, and many such memories surfaced. Paul knew he and his dad would never ski together again. Cancer, in time, had seen to that. But he did the next best thing. Right there in the warming hut in the heights of Vail, he called his dad and reminisced about their times together there. With child-like exuberance, Paul told his dad of our exploits of the day and asked him if he remembered certain trails and if he could remember the invigorating rush of being on the mountain together. They talked about how much of it looked the same, and of how many things had changed. Above all, they shared nostalgic moments that brought joy to their hurting hearts.
Instead of allowing the pain to rule during his dad's final days, Paul took the initiative to make as many memories as possible. I marveled at a man who recognized the impending loss, yet chose to respond to death with life, rather than to allow death to rule his own life. Paul's attention to his dad also had a positive effect of demonstrating to his own children how to honor and love their parents. The loss one feels about losing a parent can often be turned into positive gain because their own children learn how to love and care for their family.
Time is never truly wasted upon someone we love. As humans, time is the framework by which life tends to be measured. But in the grand scheme of eternity, time is not even a factor. In fact, Paul didn't even worry about the time factor in those last days. Paul, by earthly standards, made a good living, but what made Paul a wealthy man was the deep treasury of joy, hope, faith, and love he had built up in and through the lives of his family members. If he allowed the fear of losing his dad to control his life, none of those precious assets would've been stored up. If he hadn't taken the time to create lasting memories with his dad, would his life for his dad's legacy have been as sweet? I learned that time is not to be wasted, nor should it control us. By trusting God to work his creativity through us, we can become vessels of life even in the face of death.
None of us knows if we even have our next breath. Wouldn't life be better served if we lived each moment as if it were our last? There is no fear of death to those who know death is not final. There is no fear of things left undone or incomplete to those who have invested in intimacy with those they value because they know they will see one another again.
Time is not a silent witness to life. Time is transcended by the memories we create through relationships. Time cannot help but speak witness to a life well lived. Does Paul miss his dad? Of course. But when times of sorrow and the pain of loss flood back in, a heart that has invested in eternity cannot be silenced; and joy floods in. Time will surely tell. After all, we serve the God who steps in and out of time as he sees fit; Almighty God who is not controlled by what we understand as earthly time.
So then, be careful how you walk, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord [is.] Ephesians 5:15-17 NASB
Dennis Jernigan
To hear The Dennis Jernigan Podcast version of this teaching and to hear the song, Time Will Tell, go to https://www.patreon.com/posts/time-will-tell-98773222
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2018/02/16/02/03/pocket-watch-3156771_1280.jpg