Years ago I wrote a book called Help Me To Remember. That book was inspired by a collection of songs meant to bring comfort to those experiencing grief; to help them mourn. One of the songs in that collection is called The Covenant Song and it came to me on October 6, 1998.
While writing the book these songs are based on, I went through a lot of self discovery. I discovered some good things God had in me and I discovered some things I still needed him to work on. worked on and I realized early on that I experienced more lost than I realized, and I found that I didn't always respond to that loss very well. But since God is the redeemer, I've been able to see his redeeming hand at work in leading me through the grief process. I have also discovered that I am not alone. Of course, Christ never leaves me or forsakes me, but neither do some people. I realize that during the times of loneliness in my past, I did not need to be alone. If one wants or needs a friend, often stepping out and being a friend is what is required. I’ve learned many lessons concerning what it means to befriend another, especially during times of grief and loss.
For instance, when does a friend love, according to God's word a friend loves at all times. I mean even when lashed out at by the ones you love? Even then. Remember, I wounded person tends to wound others out of the need for self preservation. Yes, a friend loves at all times, even when dragged into battle with those he befriends. Even then. A friend loves even when those he loves are unloving in return. A friend is available at all times and under any condition. I don't mean that you have to drop everything and run each time a friend calls for help, but a friend always offers a shoulder to lean on. Even though I may not be able to see or touch my friend in the heat of the battle, I am comforted in knowing that he is emotionally and spiritually there for me.
With my friends, especially my inner circle friends, we have a covenant that joins us together at the heart. Just as God has a covenant between himself and us as new creations, I consider my close friends to be in an unspoken covenant relationship with me.
What is a covenant? In a worldly sense, a covenant is a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action. But God initiated a covenant with mankind by offering His Son, Jesus, as an offering to pay the debt of our sin bay His death - the shedding of blood as atonement - on the cross. God determined the elements, and confirmed his covenant with humanity. It is unilateral. People are recipients, not contributors; they are not expected to offer elements to the bond; they are called to accept it as offered, to keep it as demanded, and to receive the results that God, by oath, assures will not be withheld. What that literally means is that even if we don't uphold our end of the agreement to walk relationally with God, He upholds his end of the agreement by not withholding his love regardless of whether we return that love or not. That's pretty amazing if you ask me. That's the kind of friend I want to be to my own friends here on this earth. I am ashamed to say I have not always upheld my end, but I still try.
A covenant friend helps bear the load of another. A covenant friend covers the nakedness of sin that others would love to gossip about. A friend provides shelter in the emotional storms of life and is like a beacon of light on a stormy night. A friend is steadfast like a rock, and his heart is like a harbor where hurts and fears and doubts can be expressed without fear of rejection. When do you need a friend? In times of pain or in seasons of comfort, in times of joy or in fits of despair, in seasons of health and in seasons of sickness, in moments of laughter and in moments of weeping. A friend loves at all times.
Sometimes a friend just reminds those he loves of who they are. In moments of grief, self-doubt and rejection seem to be two of the biggest lies the enemy sends our way. So one of the best ways to do battle for our friends in such moments is simply to remind them of who God says they are and to remind them that there is someone who believes in them and wants to be there for them…someone who believes they can get through this. A friend is often required to walk through the pain and process of loss with those he loves. In that sense, the covenant sense, the pain or loss of my friend is my own pain or loss. Their grief is my grief. Their suffering is my suffering. But that also means their victory and their Joy are mine as well.
This week's song was written for a friend of mine named Paul. Even though we have not seen each other for years now simply due to the stages of life we find ourselves in, I believe he would be there for me in an instant and I would be there for him as well should the need arise.
A friend loves at all times, even when the ones we befriend are not so lovely or lovable, even when those friends lash out and hurt us in the heat of the moment. A friend loves at all times because a true friend loves like Jesus did. John 15:3 says, “There is no greater love than this: that a man lay down his life for his friend.” Our one true and faithful friend is Jesus. Receive healing from him. Cry on his shoulder. And out of your own sorrow and grief, be a vessel of healing to others.
Dennis Jernigan
Now let's take a few minutes and listen to The Covenant Song and think about how it applies to our life with our friends as well as how God's covenant applies to our relationship with him. You can hear the song on The Dennis Jernigan Podcast version of this blog at https://www.patreon.com/posts/covenant-song-100160204
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