People ask me so often, “Was your healing instantaneous or was it gradual?" My answer to both questions? “Yes!"
I can honestly say that the power of perversion was instantly broken in my life because I suddenly had the power to rise above the most appealing of temptations. I now find it difficult to believe I was ever involved in any such perversion. I have been given a new nature - I am a new man!
Growing up, I often heard preachers speak about humankind having two natures. I always wondered what that really meant. Are there two Dennis Jernigans who make up who I am? That idea didn't make sense to me, but because I accepted what people told me rather than searching out truth for myself, the Enemy had me right where he wanted me- confused. Now I see that if I have an old nature and a new nature, then I am not really healed. I believe a better description of being born again is that there is a dead Dennis and a living Dennis. The old Dennis has no more power. He's dead. The power belongs to the living. Since I believed right away that I was somebody brand new, by faith I began to immediately see myself from God's perspective, placing his thoughts and proclamations about me above my own! Instantly!
But healing is also a process. I had lived twenty-two years believing one way about God and about myself. I told myself early in my journey that I was willing to walk out this process of freedom for another twenty-two years – or more – if that was what was required. Overcoming homosexuality was the easy part. Getting to the root of my self-destructive thought life was a different matter. Unless we kill the root of the weed of sin in our life, that weed will always sprout back up. God has taken me on a trip through the garden of my life, pulling up all sorts of weeds and he continues to do so.
God's Word says that "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge" (Prov. 1:7). I fear (or honor) God by putting aside what I once thought or believed and putting on what his Word tells me to be true. After all, his ways and his thoughts are higher than mine. He is God. I am not!
The journey of healing is much like the description of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. As soon as Lazarus was raised, he was living and free, but he was still bound by his graveclothes. To be raised from the dead is, in itself, quite an awesome thing; not being able to enjoy your life once you are raised up would be a shame. But as soon as the graveclothes were removed from him, he was truly free!
What were some of my graveclothes? Certain relationships. I had to cut off those who enabled me to sin. Certain music. For more than ten years I refused to listen to any music, secular or sacred, that led my mind away from truth. Certain mannerisms and attitudes. I decided that if God had brought about a change in my heart, then that change should logically be visible on the outside. Certain places, attitudes, and mementos from my past. I exchanged these for something better: God's best.
I now have years of freedom under my belt, but I still get up every day and realize that I cannot make it one step without God's love and power in my life. Apart from his grace, I would surely fall away. Does that statement mean I am any less whole? No way! Just dependent upon God's strength and not my own!
The journey toward Jesus, toward wholeness and freedom, is never-ending. When I fall or trip or make a wrong turn, I get up or steady myself or turn around and keep heading toward Jesus. The joy is knowing he will meet us at each place and will be faithful to complete the work he has begun in our hearts!
MEDITATION
• Is freedom a one-time occurrence or an ongoing journey?
• How has redemption changed your outlook upon life?
• How does this affect the level of hope you have?
• How does this affect the visions and dreams of your life?
TRUTHS FOR MEDITATION
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:7
If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. --Mark 3:24--25
He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. -Philippians 1:6
Dennis Jernigan
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