When I was very young - perhaps 3 or 4 years old - I can remember my Dad playing the guitar at church. I thought the guitar was the most beautiful instrument I had ever seen. I can’t remember the specific kind - just that it was way too big for my little hands to hold! Daddy also had the ability to play the piano - and it was in watching him play simple chord progressions that I first remember wanting to play the piano. Another musical influence on my life was my Mother. Mama would sing a lot. I don’t know if she even realized it - but she did. I can remember many evenings when my Mother would read the Bible to us and then tuck us into bed singing Oh, Be Careful Little Hands What You Do....Climb, Climb Up Sunshine Mountain...Deep and Wide...Yes!! Jesus loves me, .etc., etc., etc..
My Grandmother Jernigan was also very musical and probably the greatest musical influence upon my life. Before she moved to the farm to live with us, she lived with her father, Grandad Snyder, in Okmulgee. She had an old turn of the century upright piano that sounded just like the old pianos you hear in movie westerns being played in the saloons. I, of course, thought that was amazing! Whenever we went to visit them she would let me sit at the piano and play for a little while.
During the first few years of my life, my aunt Patsy and uncle Billy Joe Wilson and their children, my cousins, lived on a big hill overlooking Sapulpa. We would often go to visit them - and I always loved these visits...not just because there were acres and acres of woods to explore but also because they had a piano! I will always remember the day I learned to play I Dropped My Dolly In The Dirt on that old upright piano! I felt like I could fly all of a sudden...or at least what I thought flying must be like! My ability to play that song is probably one more reason I loved to play the black keys! It would be many years before I realized what playing in sharps or flats meant!
By the time I was about 7 years old, my granddad Snyder had died. At that time, Grandma Jernigan bought a trailer house and moved back out to the farm to be near us so my Dad could care for her as she grew older. Because the trailer was too small for the old upright piano, she gave it to us (which thrilled my heart!) and replaced it with a smaller spinet size model. It was my Grandmother Jernigan who really began encouraging the music she ‘saw’ in me. Every day after school, I could be found at her house picking out simple melodies on the piano. I soon discovered that I could play many of the songs I heard on the radio or that we sang at church. From Johnny Cash to Loretta Lynn, and from Holy, Holy, Holy to The Banner of the Cross, I was hooked on playing. Although I could not read music, my grandmother would show me how to play simple I, IV, V chords in the key of C. From there, she showed me how to apply those chord progressions to simple melodies I already knew. From that point, I was off to the races. I remember feeling as if I could speak some foreign language or that I could go on special adventures that only a privileged few were fortunate enough to travel. Many were the days when I was disciplined (spanked) for going to Grandma’s to play the piano. My parents thought I was just trying to skip my chores at first. They didn’t understand the pull music - the piano - had on every aspect of my being. They soon realized what God was doing, though.
My Dad was the song leader at First Baptist Church of Boynton when I was young. On Wednesday evenings after the service, he held choir practice. During those times, instead of going outside to jump off the steps or run around the building with the other children, I saw this as another opportunity to play the piano. Daddy says that after the choir ran through a song, they could hear me in the church basement - from all the way upstairs - playing the exact same song...just a few beats behind them! This was my main source of learning - listening and experimenting until I could play whatever I heard. I always hoped to take piano lessons but we lived too far from Muskogee to make this feasible or affordable.
My parents were always encouraging me to play for others. Whenever we had guests or whenever relatives came over, I was asked to play. I soon discovered that playing the piano gave me lots of what I desired in the way of attention. Since I had a deep need to feel loved (and because I had believed the lies of the enemy that others would reject me if I didn’t measure up) I used this new found ‘power’ to my advantage. Soon, pride welled up in my heart and I became a very selfish person at times. On one particular occasion, my Grandma Bristol had come to the farm to see us. Shee was getting up there in years. In fact, this was a very special visit because it was the first time I could remember her ever coming to our house - the only time! We usually went to see her and Granddad in Sapulpa. Of course, my Mother asked me to play a song for Grandma Bristol. Partly not wanting to look foolish in front of the other children, partly not wanting to be the focus of such intense pressure, and partly just to be selfish, I refused. No amount of prodding on anyone’s part could get me to play. Grandma left that day - and died just a few weeks later. And I came to deeply regret never having played for her. I was very ashamed that I had allowed my pride to keep me from using my talents in the way God had intended them - as a blessing and ministry to others.
On my ninth birthday, I came home from school one day and my Mother was acting really strange. It seemed unusual that my Mom and Dad would be there when I got home. And even more unusual when they told me to go look in the front room. The first thing I noticed was that the old upright piano was gone. When I turned to ask my Mother where it had gone, I saw it - a brand new spinet piano standing against the wall! My very own piano! My parents had bought a brand new piano from Rickett’s Music Company in Muskogee - just for me! I couldn’t believe it. I immediately sat down to play - at first, feeling like an insect in a jar as everyone crowded around to watch me play. And then feeling like I was flying as I let go and played the whole evening away! What a birthday! I will never forget that day as long as I live. God was watching out for me...
By the time I was nine years old, I was playing piano for the opening exercises of the children’s Sunday school. Later that same year, I was asked to play for the regular hymn service for the adults! I felt so special. Yet, at the same time, so despised. Partly because of my prideful attitude and partly because it was considered a feminine thing - to play the piano - I was teased by many of my peers...especially the guys. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal to me if it hadn’t been for my desire to be accepted as a boy. This only reinforced my belief that something was wrong with me - that I was different. I just pushed those hurts deep down into my mind and went on with my life, determining that in spite of what others said, I would prove them wrong. If they put me down with their words, I would overcome them by my actions - by my performance. I entered every talent show at school. I entered every speechh contest. I started on the basketball team. I made the best grades. Yet, any satisfaction was always short-lived...and became like a drug. I couldn’t wait to get to my next fix - my next opportunity to prove myself by my performance. What a sad way to live, huh?
When I was twelve years old, my Mother suggested I take piano lessons from one of my favorite teachers from school. Mrs. Yerger had been my teacher in several grades and was very talented musically - and a very strict disciplinarian. I was so excited to be able to have someone teach me more of the technical aspects of the piano and of music. I remember playing a simple version of The Wabash Cannonball after my first lesson. And for five weeks I looked forward to those times with Mrs. Yerger. She was always so challenging, yet encouraging at the same time. A sad day it was when she told my Mother that she could no longer teach me - because I knew as much as she could teach me! I was grateful, though, because I at least had a basic understanding of notation and could make out the notes. I still had no concept of what it meant to sight read.
Many were the hours spent playing through (or trying to, at least) the Reader’s Digest Music Books. My Grandmother had ordered the whole set of giant songbooks. My favorite was the collection of songs from the 1920’s and 1930’s. What a blast I had playing songs like Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue, Jada, Tiptoe Through The Tulips, and many other favorites from that era. Grandma Jernigan also had quite a collection of old church hymnals and songbooks as well as a collection of sheet music of popular songs from her youth. One of my favorite pieces of sheet music was the original version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow from the movie The Wizard of Oz. My favorite hymn book was the one she used at her church, First Assembly of God in Boynton. I also enjoyed playing the popular music of my youth which I heard on the radio. From the country music my Dad listened to to the dance rhythms I heard at school, there was no song I would not at least attempt to play!
One of my favorite musical memories was of the time when I was about 6 years old - when my Aunt Gladys took me, Paul, Bob, and my Grandma Jernigan to her and Martin’s house on Lake of the Cherokees in Northeast Arkansas. The excitement of the long ride through the mountains and the ride in the car on the ferry across Lake Norfolk paled in comparison to what I discovered at Aunt Gladys’ house. She had an organ! I was allowed to play this organ as much as I wanted. Soon, though, Aunt Gladys and Grandma Jernigan grew tired of the constant noise. But the day was saved when Aunt Gladys produced a set of ear phones. I could simply plug them in and continue for hours - without bugging anyone with the sound! I felt so big!
The Lord saw to it that I had quite a variety of musical influences in my youth. Mrs. Yerger’s son, Donald Tillman, was my high school music teacher and was very proficient in jazz stylings on the piano. He encouraged me to play solo selections at our concerts. I usually played songs like The Way We Were and Breaking Up Is Hard To Do. It was he who first encouraged me to sing with the high-school chorus…and thus, black music was my greatest influence in my high school years. My parents were always buying me songbooks. Two specific ones that stand out are The Johnny Cash Songbook and The Elvis Presley Songbook. I spent many hours mastering the songs in these collections. I soon discovered Floyd Cramer, the great country music pianist, and mastered his songbook. The Last Date was always the favorite for me.
This era of my life would have been incomplete without Steve and Diane Lopp. Steve was our pastor at the time and Diane worked a lot with the music. She encouraged me to sing with my cousin Donna and friend, Lory. We always sang For Those Tears I Died and Little Flowers or a hymn. Another influence was Kathy Lance. I used to play the piano for Kathy as she sang ‘specials’ in church. She went on to college at Oklahoma Baptist University and it was she who first inspired me to consider attending there myself. Ultimately, though, it was Diane Lopp who encouraged me to seriously consider OBU.
After much prompting on the part of Steve and Diane and my parents, and after much practice, I scheduled an audition with the School of Fine Arts at OBU - for both a voice and a piano audition. Since I had never been part of classical or traditional training, I had no idea how I should have prepared or as to what would have been appropriate for such an audition. So, I simply did the best with what I knew to do. For my voice audition I sang I’ll Tell The World I Am A Christian and for my piano audition I played Little Flowers Never Worry! Needless to say, I was very intimidated by the judges. I remember Rhetta Mayfield as one of the voice judges and Ron Lewis as one of the piano judges. Needless to say, I did not receive a scholarship. It was not until I actually began classes at OBU that I discovered that I should have played and sang classical pieces - and that I was nowhere near the level of training they were looking for. And yes, I was embarrassed beyond belief. At first I was very depressed - but instead used this embarrassment as motivation to succeed - to prove myself to the leadership and fellow music students at OBU.
A few other musical influences upon my life came through books and records my parents gave me each Christmas (I cried one Christmas when they got me all Country and Western records...I had wanted pop music!) as well as the fake books my aunt Gladys gave me. And I cannot leave out my black friends from school. From Rose Fisher and the Boynton Cardinal cheerleaders singing Play It Over Here and Thunderation to hearing Marva and Marion Reed singing Negro spirituals...from Debra Crane, Damon Haynes, and Bodie Lang singing Isn’t She Lovely? to Frankie Hill singing I Love You Just The Way You Are and the Lang family singing to the Lord, I was constantly surrounded by incredible talent and people who had been genuinely gifted of the Lord. How I have often thanked God for introducing the gift of soul to me...the ability to sing with all one is from the deepest part of their being...soul.
And to think, I thought no one loved me during this time in my life! How God had His hand on me, faithfully guiding my musical training as only He could. To prove this point I must share a brief story of how God was there for me when I didn’t think He was. Way back in the late 1980’s, I took my praise team from church to give a praise concert in the Community Center in Boynton, my hometown. After the service, one of my Grandmother Jernigan’s old prayer partners came to me and said, “Isn’t it wonderful how your Grandmother’s prayers have been answered?” I told her I had no idea what she was talking about. She said, “You’re kidding!” I then asked her to share with me what she meant. She relayed how every day after school - when I would go to her house to play the piano - she would stand behind me and pray that God would use me in the area of music and worship...for His kingdom! What is so awesome about this is that my Grandmother Jernigan died - in 1972! These prayers over me took place when I was a young child...and during a time I wasn’t sure if anyone cared about me at all! God is faithful and it is His power and love that has kept me and built me up over all these years...and He truly has given the gift of music to my heart...and He alone is the reason I sing!
PS As a side note, some of the music that influenced me most during my High School and college years was by artists like The Spinners, The O Jays, Dion Warwick, The Carpenters, The Ohio Players, Parliament, James Taylor, Dobie Gray (If You Could See Me Now), America (A Horse With No Name), Donna Summer, Earth, Wind, and Fire, The Eagles, Three Dog Night, The Doobie Brothers, Gary Wright (Dream Weaver), 10CC (I’m Not In Love), Dusty Springfield, Olivia Newton John (I felt she sang ‘I Honestly Love You’ to me), The Ozark Mountain Daredevils (Jackie Blue), Sammy Johns (Chevy Van), and many, many others.
The song writing team of Elton John and Bernie Taupin probably had the deepest impact on my life in high school. I loved everything they did, but one song in particular was used of God to keep me from taking my life in high school. One of the first Elton John records I ever bought was called Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy. On this album was a song called Someone Saved My Life Tonight…and I would listen to it over and over until my suicidal thoughts were pushed back down inside me. I believe God used that song to remind me that someone would one day see my life as one worth saving.
One of my earliest song writing influences was fellow Oklahoman, Jimmy Webb who wrote songs like By the Time I Get to Phoenix, Wichita Lineman, Galveston, Up, Up, and Away, and my favorite, MacArthur Park. His sister and brother-in-law became good friends of mine while I was at OBU.