Today I’ll be sharing the story behind a song called, The Broken Part of Me, from the worship and ministry album called Might As Well Be Happy. This 16 song collection is meant to serve as a companion piece for my latest book, Parkinson’s and Recreation: One Man’s Journey Through Parkinson’s…So Far.
Even though I battle with Parkinson’s, the book is written from a humorous, joyful point of view. Regardless of my circumstances, I can choose to be sad and despair about it or I can choose to be joyful and use it for good and for the kingdom of God. If I have a choice in the matter, Might As Well Be Happy. See what I did there?
When I first received the diagnosis of Parkinson’s, I was absolutely devastated and went through a period of denial and self-pity…but that got old real quick and I decided to choose to think differently about Parkinson’s. It does not have me. I have it, meaning I will use it for good as I said earlier.
Still, I went through a period of adjustment in every area of my life. My voice was affected so singing was affected. My brain was often foggy so my writing was affected. My stamina was weakened so my relationships with my wife, my children, and my grandchildren were affected. At times, I honestly felt useless…broken beyond repair.
But then, the Lord brought to my memory (even though my memory is somewhat affected by Parkinson’s…or maybe I’m just getting old)…but, anyway, the Lord brought back to my memory a song called The Broken Part of Me. I had received the song on April 23, 2015. That’s four years before my diagnosis.
He used this song to help me begin to put my broken heart back together. Here’s the story behind the song:
In mid April 2015, I began preparing for the next installment of the Next Generation Creative Institute (a special bi-yearly mentoring-ministry time we used to hold in our home before Parkinson’s). As I try to do each time I have a special ministry time or event, I began asking the Lord if He had any special songs of deliverance or worship for this particular group.
Sitting down at my piano, I simply began to cry out to God the feelings that came upon me. This deep sadness came over me...and I knew the sadness was born of much pain and loss. Not thinking too much of the song (I felt it was incomplete), I set it aside as maybe for someone else further down the road. As we dove into the ministry of the weekend, one person’s story bore witness to the fact that I had tapped into a moment of their hurt with the words of this song.
As I sang it over this person in ministry, tears began to flow and healing began to take place. Immediately after this song was shared the Lord began pouring another song - a spontaneous song of deliverance - into my heart.
That song is called Rest and is included on my recording, Kingdom Come. You should give it a listen sometime…but for right now, let’s think about what it means to be broken. I have broken bones in my physical body several times over the course of my life. I have been broken emotionally many times over the course of my life. I have been broken mentally many times over the course of my life, especially as I face Parkinson's disease.
To be broken means having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or no longer in working order. It can also mean having giving up all hope. There have been times in my life when I have felt so damaged or wounded I felt as if I was broken beyond repair. This often left me in the throes of despair.
How did I have those broken places in my life repaired? I went to the source of healing. I went to Jesus and he began to help me put together all the broken pieces of my life. One of the best healing tools He used was to help me recognize and renounce the lies of the enemy and replace those lies with the truth of God's Word. But first I had to get honest with myself and with God that I was, indeed, broken…but not without hope.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
A broken and a contrite heart, O God,
You will not despise.
Psalm 51:17 NASB
Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He
will exalt you. James 4:10 NASB
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 NASB
Here I am now, 8 years down the road from when I first wrote the song and It means more to me than ever. The bottom line is simple. If you’re going to fall apart somewhere, fall apart in the arms of Jesus and allow Him to put the broken pieces of your life back together. He’s pretty good at it, you know. I have been broken but I have also been repaired. I proudly wear the scars of my brokenness in such a way that others can see the healing power and the healing grace and the healing work Jesus Christ has done in my life. I am not a victim. I am a victor. Jesus restores!
Dennis Jernigan
To hear The Dennis Jernigan podcast version of this week's blog and to hear the song, The Broken Part of Me, go to http://podcast.dennisjernigan.com/e/the-broken-part-of-me/
Photo courtesy of https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2018/01/11/12/04/people-3075954_1280.jpg